Heiress of the Ruler

The principle of “Panliligaw”… according to Dear_Jessie of PEX

Posted on: November 21, 2012

hi dude. i feel for you and your hurt. it isn’t easy to put your heart on the table only to have someone you care for chop it up.

may i offer a different take on panliligaw?

this is something i gleaned from books on christian courtship. the gist is, men and women don’t do the choosing, god does.

single people are not supposed to be actively looking for their life partners. this puts them in center (i must impress her, i must show her i’m the best choice, and i need a girlfriend right now so I will be happy), and a self-centered foundation is a poor one.

rather, single people must aim to have christ at the center of their relationships. they are supposed to concentrate on being godly, and hopefully serve in church ministry/other worthy projects, while at the same time, preparing to be good husbands and wives (becoming financially stable, emotionally mature, skilled in house management, childcare, and in one’s vocation) it goes without saying that these people do not even consider courtship if they are not ready to marry – the suggestion is for no courtship until after college! (crazy at first, i thought… but my opinion changed later) the couple, in joyful hope, allows god to reveal His best choice for them in the course of time.

once they think god is revealing the choice, god, through the male, will initiate a courtship. the couple are supposed to pick an accountability couple (could be their own parents or another godly couple who subscribes to courtship principles) to oversee the courtship, then continue to serve christ. the accountability couple ensures that the discerning couple maintains the godliness in the relationship by guiding the time and activities spent together by the couple. there are rules to follow (from the amount of physical contact, to emotional intimacy) as they progress from a casual friendship to close relationship to engagement to marriage.

it was such a refreshing take on this whole thing about relationships, that i felt impelled to share.

lastly, according to the sources i’ve checked, if you let god gain complete control of your courtship life, he will spare you from the hurt of worldly dating/your own understading of panliligaw. perhaps the hurt you’ve felt from panliligaw is a call from god for you to take on another approach.
may you allow god to find your best match! i don’t claim to be a saint naman – just sharing what other friends have shared to me.

some links:




1 Response to "The principle of “Panliligaw”… according to Dear_Jessie of PEX"

Good One.. Just what i needed

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